Saturday, January 10, 2009

**Sigh** :)

**Warning:  Mushy/Sad/Mushy Stuff to follow!

Well, it's now 2:30am and I haven't been to bed yet.  Just busy crafting and watching sappy movies on Lifetime.  Just thinking about how much I really love my husband.  Like REALLY.  I know that I've loved him since the day we met in the River Falls High School gym almost 6 years ago.  He is my best friend, the person with whom I can share everything about myself.

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The whole "leave and cleave" part of marriage I think tends to get all messed up.  What does it mean to become "one" with your spouse?  I don't really know, but I feel like after last spring, Adam and I jumped ahead decades. 

There was one night during my weeks in the hospital that was really BAD.  It was the night after we buried our son.  Beyond emotional pain, I knew that something wasn't right in my abdomen.  After two weeks already in the hospital, I had thought that I was on the mend.  Not so.  That night I had a tube re-inserted through my nose into my stomach, which made me vomit profusely, and was given awful medicine that made awful things happen.  I can't remember a time when I have felt worse. 

But I didn't want my mom or dad.  All I wanted, needed, was Adam.  He is the part of me that makes me whole, because we have been made one.  All through my ordeal we had amazing support from family, friends, nurses and strangers.  But Adam is part of me.     We have left the security and shelter of our parents and created a new #1.  Now, I love my parents (really do Mom and Dad!!) but they are no longer my #1.   Adam, God and Me make up my #1.  Three joined as one.

Now, this does not mean that we don't fight or get annoyed with each other.  Like tonight!  We were in Menards and Adam made some dumb comment.  I snapped at him and walked away.  Later he found me and just kinda talked like things were okay.  After much talking, come to find out that he didn't even know I was mad at him!  Really??  I dunno, I figured I was pretty obvious, but then I am woman and he is a man.  But I love him. 

So I'm not really sure what the point of this post it, but we'll just say that my blog was hijacked by journal tonight.  And I can put whatever I want into my journal!

P.S.  My family is pretty stellar.  My little/only sister had her senior prom while I was in the hospital.  She brought her whole group to the hospital so that I could see her all dressed up.  Kristi's the one in the cute green dress.

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1 comments:

Tina, Ryan and Olivia said...

First off, you look great in the photo with your sister in her prom dress. How brave are you to get into the action! Second, and most importantly, you are loved beyond imagination. Not only by close and distant family, but by friends. I still consider you a good friend even though we've drifted apart. You are a strong woman, and after being a mother for nearly 20 months, I cannot begin to imagine the pain of burying a child. Stary strong...I know you can!!!
Fondly, Tina