New Directions

... Warning: this is a very long post. A few very important updates in the midst of lots of personal reflection ...

No, I am not talking about the high school show choir on "Glee," the great show on FOX that is starting its third season this fall.

I'm talking about our continual wait for directions from above. The moments when Adam and I feel a little lost, a little unsure, and we're waiting for directions. Waiting to know what is right and when it is right.

And now we've heard.

Heard that our next adventure is to move again. Three more times, to be exact!

Now you might be thinking, "Aren't you sick of moving? Don't you just want to stay in one place?" Absolutely!

But we have come to learn in our young lives that what we want and what God wants for us is not always the same. Ultimately, what He wants for us is immensely greater than what we could have ever wished for ourselves. At the time, it doesn't always feel as though this is true, but as we look back over our lives, we can't help but agree with Him.

So as not to lose you, I'll be a little less vague about our upcoming moves.

This past winter (well, probably before then) Adam began to feel pulled towards a career that can provide a better lifestyle for our family (not that it's better than others, just better for us). He has never loved the "feast or famine" workload of a country elevator. He'd much rather be in "feast" mode all of the time. Personally, I think he's crazy, but the man loves work. He also wants to eventually get beyond the actual grain handling facilities; more logistics/training/?? at the home office of a larger company. This would allow Adam to use his brain more and his hands less as he gets older, but more importantly he could then coach high school sports and be around for family time.

After months of applications, interviews, and traveling, Adam received an offer late last week from CHS. He will be in the Assistant Superintendent Trainee program. Short explanation is Adam will be in three different locations over the next 18 mos learning, and then be placed full time at a terminal. We'll spend 6 mos in Davenport, IA, and then 6 mos each in New Orleans, LA and Superior, WI (or maybe Portland, OR). Oh, and did I mention that he starts Sept 1?

Let me be completely clear now, before I confuse you later. This is an amazing opportunity for Adam and our family. I am so happy that someone has recognized that his skills, knowledge and abilities and are going to put them to better use. This is a great "return on investment." In a year and a half, he'll be so much farther ahead than if he had just tried to get a permanent position somewhere.

This. Is. A. GOOD. Thing.

But it is a bittersweet transition. We've been here for two years, the longest that either of us have lived in one place since high school, almost 10 years ago. We've put down a few roots; not as many as we thought we would, but roots.

Our little house. I love it. I never thought I would want to live in the middle of a cornfield, but I LOVE it. It's quiet, peaceful and pretty. I've learned about gardening, including rosebushes. I've painted my own rooms for the first time. We survived our first major remodeling project with our bathroom last winter. (oh! my new bathroom, how you'll be missed) The bonfires, dinners with friends and family, canning, oh so many GOOD memories.

My job. This is my first "real" job that has felt like a "real" job. I feel like I matter, that what I do counts. That I have made some sort of contribution to the organization for the better. That I might truly be missed. Part of me worries that the skills and experience I have gained at Prairie Lakes Church will not be transferable. Finding a job for only 6 mos, 3 times, doesn't really lend itself to meaningful jobs. Then 18 mos down the road, will my two years at PLC even matter to any prospective employers? I don't have any training. No one will really know PLC and therefore won't understand that I didn't "just work for a church." But then I think, does it really matter?

Working for our church has been absolutely the right thing at the right time. Something that I never would have pictured for myself. Something that still kind of "doesn't fit" into the rest of my life experiences. But it works. and it works well. But is it what I really want to do for the rest of my life? No.

I want to be a stay at home mom. I've wanted to be one since I was pregnant with Aaron three years ago. But I haven't been able to. So in the meantime, I have to work. And God was so gracious to give me such a wonderful job for the past two years. Thank you Ron Phares for taking a chance on me. The girl you had never met but just had a feeling was the right person for the job. The opportunities and experiences I have been blessed to have are all because you saw more than my resume could tell.

And the people. Never before have we lived somewhere long enough to build any sort of community. Never before have there been so many people that I will truly miss. I don't need to name names. You know who you are. Some of people I see often, others only every once in awhile. Some people I will stay close to for the rest of my life, others I may never talk to again. But you all have become a part of who I am. I am thankful for every person that God has placed in my life during our time in Iowa. I will miss you all.

The next 18 mos will be crazy. And wonderful. And scary. And fun. And tiring. And one of our most exciting adventures. Do I want to live in New Orleans for the rest of my life? Absolutely not. But it sure will be fun for 6 mos. Melody will lose her big yard, but we hope that in two years, she'll have one just as nice. Do I relish the thought of packing up all of my belongings only to do it again twice more in a short period of time? Nope. (Um, have I told you how much I HATE packing??) But at least this time we'll have *some* professional help.

But I know this is good.

I know that this is the next step God has placed in our lives.

I know that God is good.

I know that God is always right.

I know that He has planned this next adventure just for us.

He's written the directions.

We waited, not always patiently, and now hope to follow well.

And continue to wait for further directions.

I wonder...

As it gets closer to what would have been your 3rd bithday, I wonder...

...do you have the blonde curls I always picture? Or did you luck out and get red hair?
...do you have blue eyes like me and your dad?
...are you long and lean, or a little roly poly like your dad was at that age?
...would Melody ever let you ride her?  Would you two be buds?
...are you a picky eater or are you willing to try anything?
...can you climb up on our bed or is it still too high?
...would you be potty trained by now? I sure hope so.
...do you sleep though the night?
...do you have dreams?
...would your grandparents spoil you?
...would your aunt and uncles make excuses to visit just so they can see you?
...do you like dinosaurs, tractors, blocks or Superman?
...do you have your dad's musical abilities?
...do you have freckles like me?
...are you healthy?
...do you sleep with a stuffed animal or blankie?
...do you suck your thumb or did you (hopefully) prefer a pacifier that has by now been taken away?
...how much laundry would you create?
...do you like to snuggle and give lots of kisses?
...what does your smile look like?

...can you see your dad and I?
...do you know how much we love and miss you?
...have your great-grandpas shown you the ropes?
...does Jesus take walks with you?
...how awesome is He in person?
...does it make sense why you went to Heaven so early?

...will it make sense someday?
...will he be remembered?
...will he have siblings?
...will they understand that they have a big brother?
...will I get to meet him someday?
...will You take care of him until then?

I wish I could have known the answers, honey.  But I know that you are in the best place ever.  Love you, Mom

No Longer a Cavewoman

Last Friday I spent $40 and 7 hours to relieve me of being a cavewoman. When we bought this house almost two years ago (was is really that long?) we were very pleased with the paint colors. There was no pea green or mauve. There was nothing that needed to be painted.

Last week I decided that our bedroom finally needed to be painted. It was a very beautiful chocolate brown. The problem is that we have angled ceilings and a very small window that gets very little light.

That's not the greatest picture, because it includes the one wall that was originally blue. But imagine turning around and seeing three dark brown walls and two dark brown angled parts of the ceiling.

Now it looks like this. I woke up Saturday barely able to move my right leg from all the contortions to paint that ceiling. But I no longer sleep in a cave. :)

I didn't even tell Adam I was painting! I was putting the last piece of furniture back in place when he got home. He said that it was a good surprise.

Two Wisconsin Craftsmen

Looking this picture just makes me love my new vanity even more. This one was very good, very functional and really quite nice.

But take a look at this beast...

We had it custom built by two Wisconsin craftsmen. Also known as my father- and brother-in-law! Adam and I shopped around for vanities a little and realized that we just couldn't afford anything in the size we needed. Dale has been accumulating really nice tools and thought that this would be a good reason to use them. They both did a really nice job.

As far as a countertop, I went a little unconventional for a bathroom. I'm not a fan of laminate and the solid surface stuff just looks off to me. Cultured marble just makes me think of the 80's and granite wasn't an option. So I started looking for other options and ended here...

Butcher block counter from Ikea, $129! I've seen it used in kitchens, but wasn't sure about the moisture in a bathroom. After a little research, we learned that we could seal it with some poly and we'd be good to go. It does invalidate the 25-year warranty, but oh well. Oh, you can stain it too!

The boys went along with my plan, but weren't completely convinced until we put it in. (They didn't tell me this until later.) We trimmed it up and cut a hole for the sink. That was a little scary, you can't really fix a mis-cut.

And here it is, mostly put together. We ended up using one of the scrap pieces as a backsplash and are really pleased.

A quick tour of the vanity:

• See the hole on the left side of the vanity? They built in shelves with a door to hold rolls of toilet paper and my womanly items. PTL for custom made pieces!
• Regular under sink cavity
• Two stacks of drawers, LOTS of storage space
• One small cavity with two shelves; space for washcloths and hand towels, as well as the items that don't fit in the drawers. Nice use for the leftover space in the vanity.
  

Thanks again to Dale and Tim for all your hard work!

Time for a Tub

So here's the problem with digital cameras: they hinder my blogging.

Just stay with me here. The camera takes a picture whenever you push the button, then it saves that picture. Then you can take another, and another, and another...as long as I want. It doesn't cost any more to take one or one hundred pics. But then you end up with way too many pictures of a bathtub. So many that you load them into Photoshop and leave them there for two weeks because the thought of sorting through all of those pictures and then editing some of them is just too overwhelming. Therefore you never can put those pictures into a blog post, which ultimately hinders your blogging. Right???

Okay, so I'm being melodramatic. Let's just get on with the remodel...

Once we (Adam and Dale) ripped out the old tub, we (they) worked to level the floor so that the water actually flows down the drain. Who knew that you had to worry about that? (Probably everyone but me.) I also didn't know that you have to put it in several times before you finally install it. Probably the reason I took so many pictures, I kept thinking, "This is it!!" only to be disappointed.

So finally here is our new tub! It's white and clean and glorious! I love taking a bath and knowing that some stranger's butt hasn't already been there. Okay, maybe that crossed some blogging line, but it has always weirded me out with other tubs to know that someone else had been there. I know, really logical, right?

As far as the current progress of the bathroom, we're almost done. Adam's finishing moulding for the window and mirror. Then we'll touch up paint and be done. Woo hoo!

The picture below was taken as the boys were looking at...well...I don't really remember but I just think it's cool.

P.S. I'm getting really annoyed with my camera (for real) because it's been taking really grainy pictures. Not able to invest in a new one now, but bothered to put up photos like this.

Destruction

Thankfully this weekend finds us at the end of a *fairly* normal week. Finally feel a little under control at work, the house is back in order and Adam turned 27 this week! I tried my hand at homemade orange chicken for his birthday supper, and it turned out pretty darn good!

For those of you wondering about my grandpa, he's doing pretty well. Mom told me that the nurse says that he is gaining a little strength! She even had the OT come out to work on goals.

Now on to the bathroom...

I'm going to be showing lot of picture of "stuff" but thought you might want to get a look at my contractors. Of course, my very studly husband...

...and Adam's dad, Dale. (I really thought I had a better picture, maybe I'll find one later.) Dale was here for a week and half and worked his butt off. Most of the time in a Charlie Brown Christmas t-shirt.

Before you can make something new, you have to destroy the old (well, at least in this case!). Here's the first hole in the drywall. You can see the original plaster lath in the kitchen wall...

Then, for some reason, the drywall is all over the floor! :)

Man did this project make a lot of trash. Enough to fill the entire bed of Adam's truck and then some.

Here's after we pulled the vanities out. Don't you love the duct tape on holding the exhaust pipe together? More on this another day.

This was probably the worst mess of the whole project. This is our office that connects to the bathroom. During destruction/construction, this was the staging area/dumping ground for everything bathroom related.

As I tried to figure out the best way to share the renovating process with you, I decided to go start-finish with each part of the bathroom. Then I'll share the complete finished project. Hopefully we're DONE by then!!

Hope that you are having a great weekend. :)

Time Rolls Along

I just can't believe it's already February 7th. Wasn't I just starting to show you our bathroom remodel? Funny how life takes other turns.

About this time, I got sick. Like lay on the couch and not move for a couple days sick. I had planned to have a productive week while Adam was in Kansas, but I could barely pick up all of my kleenexes!

The day Adam came home, I got a call from my Mom about my Grandpa. He has been battling lung cancer and prostate cancer for several months and had just been hospitalized with an infection. After days of treatment, the doctors decided that there is nothing more they can do. He's been home on hospice now for three weeks. Most days are pretty good. He told me yesterday, "I feel pretty good, but I'm just so sleepy."

I was able to spend two weeks out in Seattle with my grandparents. I wouldn't say that it was fun, it's not like I went out there for a vacation, but it was good to be there. I got to bake my grandpa two pies and some brownies. Made some chicken pot pie and poured lots of wine. The five of us, my grandpa, grandma, aunt, mom and myself all drank a different kind of wine! My grandma told me yesterday that she misses me, AND the food! Hopefully I'll be able to make another trip out later this spring.

While I was gone Adam's grandfather was diagnosed with liver cancer and sent home on hospice, too! Ralph passed away just one week after he came home, the day I returned from Seattle. He was a strong man of God that knew Jesus. He knew where he was going and had such a peace about the end of his life. Adam's grandmother knew this, too. While we'll all miss Ralph, we all know that he's no longer in pain and in Heaven with his Creator.

In the midst of all of this there are also a couple other things that Adam and I in the middle of right now. By Friday I just needed to stop for awhile. I was (am) horribly behind at work, but I just needed to be still. At church on Sunday I could finally feel the emotion of the past three weeks. During worship I just felt the tears roll down and man did it feel good! Maybe it's just a girl thing but crying can make me feel so much better.

Today finally it felt like my feet were back underneath me. But of course my feet are in a different place now. Ralph is still gone, my grandpa is still dying and I'm still in a place of ambiguity. A feeling of unsettledness that I am really okay with today.

**********

Hopefully this week I'll have a couple more posts ready about the bathroom. Maybe if I take long enough to post the process pictures we'll actually have everything finished and I can show you an "after" picture!

Here's to hoping that your family is well tonight/today and that if they are not, that you find peace in these troubled times.